Kiss Me, then Kill Me
by Neko Rena
Summary: After TB, Subaru waits for Seishirou under the Sakura. But why?...


Kiss Me, then Kill Me  
  
A Subaru POV fic.  
  
I am standing under the Tree. The Sakura Tree. It's night and the weather is cold, but I don't care. I don't have to dress myself warm up. If you'll come here tonight, then I will probably die. I don't really want to die. I want you to kill me, because then I will be send to where Hokuto-chan is now. My dear sister. The only one who really cared for me all in my life. My only sister. My only family. Why? Why did you kill her? I was your prey, then why?  
I should have hate you. I should have want to kill you. But all I can feel is just guilt. Because even now I love you and hate you at the same time. Why? Why me? Why didn't you killed me back then, when we first met? Why didn't you killed me now, When I lost the Bet? Why Hokuto-chan?  
I know she died for our love, but I know that too, that her dreams about our marriage won't come true. My life is meaningless anymore.  
Where are you Seishirou-san? I have so many questions, and so many ansvers. Your prey awaits you. I know, you're here in the near, but I can't see you. You don't want me to see you. It's funny. Are you maybe feeling guilty for what have you done? "Konban wa, Subaru-kun."  
The usual friendly vetenarian mask. But I don't believe you anymore.  
"Seishirou-san..." Why am I whispering? I thought, I have enough power for this. "How are you doing Subaru-kun?"  
I can see, that's blood flooding down on your hand. You killed again. You really don't feel anything, do you?  
I'm speechless.  
"What is it Subaru-kun? Does something bother you?"  
You Know, what I want to know.  
"Seishirou-san..." The oppurtunity Say it! Say it!  
"Why... Why didn't you killed me?" My voice is barely a whisper.  
"What, Subaru-kun? I can't hear you."  
You're coming closer. Oh, my God! Why you? Why me? Why do I have to love you, want you, and hate you at the same time?  
You're pinning me to the Sakura Tree. Your body aganist mine, you're holdin my wrists. I cannot move. Like this you could take advantage of me. Please, do it. I would like it.  
You killed my sister, my heart, my trust in people. Why don't you kill then all of me? My innocence, my body, my common sense. I would give you all of myself, for a moment, just to break them apart, and then I would die happily in your arms. Please, Seishirou-san, I need you. I think I'll go crazy.  
"I didn't kill you, because your sister asked me to. She said that she'll kill me, if I'll hurt you, or make you cry. But she wanted me to kill her, so it's not my sin, that's she's dead."  
I sould have laugh at you but I cannot.  
"Was that all that you wanted to know?"  
What? Do you want to end this? Do you want to flee from me?  
"Or do you want anything else?"  
You know what I'm thinking. I don't have any room to move at all. Your face is just inches away from mine. My god, how much I want you. I know you're doing all fo this just to tease me. Your hands are dancing all over my body. I know you want me, too. Why don't you say it? I'll would be yours.  
"Seishirou-san... Don't you want to kill me?"  
"No. Not now anyways."  
"Why?"  
"Because you're more interesting alive."  
"And what if I want to die?"  
You're smiling.  
"You're full of questions, Subaru-kun. But I like it. Do you really want that much to die?"  
"I... I..." Of course I want it, then why cannot I say it?  
"I... don't know..."  
"Then what do you want?"  
I'm looking into your eyes. Do you really find me that interesting?  
"I want... To be with Hokuto-chan... Or with you... As we used to be... Or anybody who really loves me... I don't want to be alone anymore..."  
"And what can I do for you in that?"  
Can't you understand? Or you don't want to understand, how much I need you? Even now, when I want to give myself to you, to make with it anything you want, you're just wearing that empty smile, that you show for everybody around you, no matter what you think. I want to be yours. Don't you understand, Seishirou-san?  
Your face is not showing any emotions. Your eyes are perfectly calm as ever, one like honey, like living gold, and one like a raindrop, white and empty. You sacrificed it for me. Why did you do it? Is it really no matter for you, what's happening with me, if you sacrificed your eye, when you protected me? I don't understand you. I never did, and I never will, no matter, how much I want to.  
I can only whisper, I'm so afrad, that maybe you will laugh into my face, how much a fool I am.  
"Seishirou-san, Please... Please... K-Kiss me..."  
You're not lauging. Your face is closer and colser to mine. You will really kiss me.  
"...And then... Please... Kill me..."  
My voice is barely a whisper. I wonder, if you heard it. And before our lips meet, your voice.  
"As you wish..."  
You're really kissing me. I never did it before, maybe I'm doing it wrog, but it seems that you don't care. If this could stay like this forever.  
Something hard pushed around my heart, and I'm falling. You're still kissing me, you don't let my lips slid away from yours, and you're falling with me. When we are ending the kiss on the ground, you're smiling like a predator to his prey. At last you killed me, as I wanted it.  
"Seishirou-san... I love you so much..." The world's blurring. I don't feel pain, nor the cold anymore. And I don't see blood anywhere. Just you. It's like, I'm going to sleep. Now will come a dream, that'll better than this life...  
  
I open my eyes, and I see you. I can sense that you're worried. What happened to me?  
"Subaru-kun, are you alright? You probably had a very bad nightmare."  
"Yes... Sort of.... I think..."  
"Subaru... Maybe I shouldn't tell that... But I have bad news..."  
I'm trying to sit up, but somehow it's very hard.  
"Please, just lie back..." You're worried about me.  
"Hokuto-chan... She died last night by a car accident."  
What? It feels like all my body is teared apart.  
"How?..."  
"A truck hit her... It was dark and the truck driver couldn't see her..."  
I cannot believe. I'm just lying there, and staring at nothing. My twin sister... She's dead... If my body wouldn't ache so much I would scream. You're sitting there and watching me. My hand is in yours. I have a hard grip on it, but you don't care. It's comforting, that even now you're with me. Thank you... I need a lot of strength to speak.  
"Seishirou-san..."  
"Yes?"  
"In my dream Hokuto-chan died as well... But... You killed her..."  
You're staring at me.  
"No, it wasn't me... she died by an accident. I would never do something like that, you know."  
"And you said, that you don't love me anymore..."  
"It was just a nightmare. A dream... It wasn't real. You don't have to be afraid anymore. Of course I still love you..."  
I want to see your eyes... Your beautiful, but mistmatched eyes... Your glasses are sparkling in the morning light.  
"...Do you... Do you really love me?...."  
You're lying beside me, and pull me close to you. You're stroking my hair. It feels so nice.  
"Of course I love you, Subaru-kun. I always did, and I always will love you, no matter, what happens to us, what you say, do, or dream. I love you more than anyting my Subaru-kun..."  
As I fall asleep, you're kissing away my silent tears from my face, a whisper.  
"... I love you because you're my beautiful prey..."  
  
OWARI 


End file.
